CAN I REFUSE GOD OR MYSELF

CAN I REFUSE GOD OR MYSELF

Lord why have you given me these burdensome news

why have you made me the way I am a hopeless soul

Shall I refuse the call and be an ordinary man

or run away from my soul which shall never change

help me to understand my ways, your ways are set

why cant I leave this alone I have to speak yet

How hard it is for me to turn from you o God

how hard to forget  of your loving kindness

I am set from before I was ever in this land

I am possessed by holiness and the ways of heaven

I fight this possession but cannot resist my nature

resistance is a sour taste in my mouth

the desire of mine eyes is your calling on me

but hard is the works of your suggestions

danger is the path I trod--my mouth a trap

sincerity is my heart direction or an evil deception

I cannot hide my mouth no more my eyes they see

I seek to doom myself, men they wait for me

and hearts whom to trust I stay away from them

can I refuse God or myself, can I stay away

to hold my mouth is to sign my condemnation

now catch me almighty hand I flee to distant lands

I flee from myself the way things ought to be

to speak your words or dig my grave I've lost all sanity.